Self-Discovery: How Do I Find My True Self?

How do I find my true self: 2 Tips | Love Igho

Who am I?

This is one of life’s ultimate question. Most of us start out believing we will get the answers to life if we can answer the question “how do I find my true self?” And we spend most of our lives trying to figure out. We all want to know why we’re here. What the purpose of our life is. Because surely our true self will know better; decisions will become easier to make, and we make fewer mistakes on our path to greatness.

Earlier this month (August 2020), I was sitting across a friend as we pondered the reason why we needed this question answered so badly. And I said I thought it might be healthier to consider a slight alternative to that question, because I don’t think you need to find your true self (at least not fully) in order to realize your full potential. I truly believe that, as contradicting as it seems. Realizing your full potential doesn’t require full self-discovery. I’ll try to give a longer answer a bit later…lol. But, I think the 3 reasons why you’ll never really discover your true self “fully” as long as you’re on this earth is that:

  1. To a certain extent, directly or indirectly, you live in response and are a reflection of the people and society that you surround yourself with.
  2. You are a collection of constantly changing parts and ideas.
  3. Your life itself is an evolving process, basically.

So, I want to invite you to not limit yourself by taking on the pressure of wanting to find your true self before embarking on any journey you want to take. Because your journey to self discovery shouldn’t be “done” before you start living your best life. They are not mutually exclusive and should be embarked on together.

As part of MY own journey, I want to share with you the BIGGEST LESSONS I’ve learned over the years – one that can help you on your path to discovering the real, authentic you so that you can shine bright in your world. Then, later we’ll figure out how to make sure we are comfortable with ourselves – everyday – as we unfold into the world.

The lesson is this…

How Do I Find My True Self: 2 Simple Tips

1. Ask Questions & Recognize Thought Patterns

Firstly, don’t be afraid to ask yourself questions (actually, don’t be afraid to ask questions in general). It’s simple. And it’s effective! Two of my favorite things to ask myself are “what” and “why”. When you ask yourself questions, you open the door to self awareness. Sadly, this is something that I think we take for granted – the need to be aware of why we act or feel a certain way in certain moments. Those little words, “what” and “why”, hold the key to self discovery and here are some prompts to help you get started:

Little Prompts That Help

  • what do you want from life?
  • what drives you? what excites you? what inspires you?
  • who do you like spending your time with and why?
  • what does your presence inspire? how do you take up space with others?
  • how do people feel around you? That’s a tough one, especially if you end up not liking the answer.
  • what kind of conversations drain you or empower you?
  • what did you want to be when you were younger? what did you enjoy doing?
  • what does an ideal day look like for you?
  • what is your favorite book, film, song?
  • who would you like to meet? and what would you ask them if you met them?
  • what kind of quality do you admire in others? what kind of character traits would you want in your inner circle?
  • what are you proud of?
  • what scares you?
  • what would you regret if the world ended today?
  • what would you do, if there were no financial restraints?
  • how do you like to relax? what makes you feel at peace?…

This is not an exhaustive list. There are a lot to consider and I say that becauseI don’t want you to go into this feeling overwhelmed. I’m a huge advocate for taking things one step at a time. Give yourself a couple of minutes every morning or night to gather yourself. Pray! Meditate!

This is also a good way to learn to recognize your thought patterns. It’ll help you do a quick scan of your mind. Are your thoughts positive or negative? Are you constantly beating yourself up? What kind of light do you see yourself in? Are you aware of the small achievements that you’ve made already? Celebrate those!

How do I find my true self: 2 Tips | Love Igho

2. Journaling

Secondly, you have to live your life intentionally. Which means you’ll have to start keeping records of your own life. If you’ve never done it before, now would be a great time to start. Just start by writing small words about your feelings, without judgements. If you let the words flow, I find that with time, your feelings will pour out naturally. Then take the time to read them back, and observe whether or not you’re being kind or fair or mean to yourself.

Too often, without even knowing it, we place unrealistically high expectations on ourselves. And then when we don’t meet those set expectations, we carry on through life believing that we’re failures, making us scared to take risks.

It’s also okay to NOT JOURNAL ALL THE TIME. Let this not be another thing you thing you have to be perfect at, please.

You’ll notice that both lessons kinda go hand-in-hand on the journey to self-discovery. Like I said at the beginning, it’s a life long journey. It’s a marathon not a sprint, because we’re constantly evolving. There is no real end to it, as long as we’re living. The beauty is actually in the journey itself and all the things we learn along the way. A little something to keep in mind as you start the new week.

Anyway, Next Wellness post will be on How to be more comfortable in your own skin.

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Please let me know what you think about this post. What are your thoughts? Are you enjoying your journey?

And know that I’m sending you all my love.


How do I find my true self: 2 Tips | Love Igho

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